Friday, November 28, 2008

Our little butterball!

Finally something happy to report. We were able to get new pictures of Addison this week, thanks to another American that was visiting. I have to admit that this is by far the best that we have seen her look. She actually has some cheeks and a little fat on her fingers. There is also a nice picture of her interacting with one of the caregivers which was so comforting to see. We are so relieved!!! The health situation at her orphanage is far from good at this time and I am glad to see that she has a little reserve available now. Let's hope that she does not have to weather the entire winter there.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A day of tears

Our adoption journey continues to catch me off guard and today is one of them. We have had a month of incredibly discouraging news. There was the second lost court date, warnings from the State Department, a worsening energy crisis, utter confusion on the state of adoption in Kyrgyzstan, and Addison turning seven months old without us. I feel like I have been hit by a truck. Why today, you may be asking ??? I know exactly why and I have decided that at the end of day, the tears and emotions are OK.

First, over the last 2 weeks, I have put Addison at arms length, instead of right next to my heart. Not because I am doubting our decision to adopt her but because the thought of her not coming home was more than I could deal with. I spent the last two weeks focusing on our two perfect children, my wonderful husband and all the other precious gifts that I have been given. I have reveled in the sweet things that my kiddos say to me and soaked up all the hugs and kisses. I just breathed them in. It is not that I have ever taken my children for granted but I think that sometimes life takes over and we forget to just stop and enjoy. This adoption has occupied a lot of my emotional energy lately and it was great to stop and just smell the roses. I am a very lucky mom!

Today, good friends of ours had a beautiful baby boy, the baby that has been pre-determined to be Addison's playmate for about 9 months. I am not jealous or sad that we are not having another baby but that our baby, Addison, is not here to be part of our plans. Shortly after their call, and over a month since our last update, we got a brief email on Addison from another visiting American. She apparently looks good but is quite weak which just breaks my hurt and worries me so. Instantly, she went from being far away to next to my heart again. I can't stand the thought of her not getting everything that she needs on this earth! She needs and deserves to be showered with attention, security and all the love that our family and our friends have to offer which is a TON. Well, so much for being "strong" and realistic. That precious orphan is ours, Addison is ours and I want her home!

The tears are OK. They were tears of joy for the wonderful children that I have, including Addison, and tears of sadness because she needs to be with us now.

Maybe there will be more news "next week".....

Monday, November 3, 2008

Trick or Treat

How great to be a kid!

The simple things in life - a lollipop and a pencil!

Our Rollercoaster Ride

Well, the last 2 weeks have been incredibly challenging, to say the least. The highs were high and the lows were the lowest that we,ve had. To make the journey all the more painful, the changes have been fast and furious. I don't like rollercoasters even at the amusement parks and this ride is one that I want to get off of. The problem is that we have to get off WITH Addison so we are stuck. I am still waiting for compassion or even greed, to move the government of Kyrgyzstan but so far there does not seem to be a lot of budging. Maybe "this week"....

On a more positive note, we got a ton of pictures of Addison from a visiting family. THANK YOU!!!

I love the picture with her getting weighed. That is accuracy at it's finest! I am presenting a lecture to our peds residents next week on Failure to Thrive and that picture is going to be a must. It will drive home the importance of NAKED weighs! I created the lecture a year ago and I never would have thought that it would be so near and dear to my heart.