It is difficult for me to write about this part of my life. I have never attempted to put into words our story. What was supposed to be a happy beginning has turned into many tearful days and nights. I am only happy that I did not know what was to lie ahead.
I met my oldest daughter on April 5, 2008 at the Bishkek Baby House in Bishkek Kyrgyzstan. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I instantly fell in love with the tiny baby girl named Mira with big brown eyes. She was only two months old when we met. She had been born premature and was so tiny. I was allowed to visit Mira two times a day every day for a week. I was head over heels in love, and completely overjoyed. She seemed to know I was her mother perhaps she could read the love on my face or feel the love in my arms. The orphanage doctor told me she would now really thrive and grow since she had a mom. During our visits Mira and I would quietly study each other’s face. My adoption coordinator said we seemed to have our own secret language. We did. It was the language of love. Many at the orphanage even commented that we resembled each other. It seemed we were a perfect match.  |
| Mira with the quilt Angela made for her after her first visit. |
At the end of my one week visit I had to return home to await a court hearing followed by a 30 day wait. I believed I would be able to bring Mira home early June 2008. Leaving Mira was very difficult. I told her to be brave and I would be back in 6 short weeks. Tearfully I walked out the gates of the orphanage thinking the next time I walked out of these gates Mira and I would be together. Although I refer to Mira as my daughter she is not legally mine. We never were scheduled a court date. We never did walk out the gates together to start our new life together. Although I did complete and submit all the required documents for adoption a court date remained elusive. I kept asking my agency if I had received a court date yet. At first my agency and I believed it was a small delay but as weeks turned into months I began to realize there was a big problem. Unfortunately adoptions were stalled and then finally stopped completely. There were 65 American families stuck in adoption limbo.
Watching your child grow up from 8000 miles away is difficult to say the least. Mira will celebrate her fourth birthday without a family on January 22 of this year. Although Mira has not grown up in my arms she has certainly grown up in my heart. I often wonder if she can somehow feel the love from so far away. I have seen her go from a crawling baby to a toddling tot and now a preschooler. The first time I heard her sweet voice was on a video she was saying she was two and holding two fingers up. Each picture is a bitter sweet gift reminding me of what I am missing but also letting me know she is okay. There is not a minute that passes where I am not wondering if she is happy, and healthy.
Her room sits ready waiting for her filled with many clothes she has long out grown. There are books waiting to be read and dolls waiting to be played with. The felt animals I bought for her in Kyrgyzstan patiently wait for her to come home. Most importantly I along with her new baby sister from China are waiting for her. Not to mention all the family and friends who are waiting for her.
The moratorium has now been lifted on International Adoption in Kyrgyzstan. I am hoping someday soon I can bring Mira home and that she will be resting comfortably in my arms again. What a miracle it will be when we do walk out the orphanage gates together hand in hand.
Angela Sharp
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